Don't eat that, darling, it's dirty. Oh alright then.

[pomes]

Don't munch on the armchair, my plumpkin.
Don't nibble the sofa, I pray!
I'm sure we can excavate something
Hygienic to teethe on today --
Don't touch! Ah-ah, darling, that's dirty!
No, no, that's a very yuck toy!
Yes, I'm sure - yes, it's perfectly lovely,
But unsuitable food for a boy!

This rattle, I think, may be cleaner,
Or how about this rubber ring?
The other mums say I'm a dreamer,
But it's early days yet to give in.
Ickle diddums! Take it out of your mouthie!
Now give it to mama - ta-ta!
It's a piece of the old bathroom grouting...
No! Nasty! Dirty! Ah-ah!

I'm pretty sure this one is sterile -
I washed it myself just last week.
The bacteria aren't that virile;
They're turning their third "other cheek".
Just lunch on the mud, little lady;
We'll breakfast on spiders and slugs
Because no-one can convince a baby
That it ought to cavil at a bug.

Comments

[ai731.livejournal.com]

I'm fairly sure you've already thought of this, but I'm going to say it anyway: once you've done a few dozen of these you should talk to Mr. Higgins about getting them illustrated (either by his good self or someone equally talented) and try to get them published.

[ailbhe]

As I typed this up, I thought "I want to hear Pam Ayres read this."

These are quite good.

[rampantpenguin.livejournal.com]

Pardon me, since we're not acquainted, but they are good, as well as funny. All of them, but this one particularly tickles my fancy. Your friend is right; publication would be good.