Ickle diddums, in the library, with the candlestick.

My baby is trying to kill me
She really does want me quite dead
She's bitten my legs all the way up
And she's trying to grape-press my head.

My baby grabbed hold of my earlobes
And leaned in and bit off my nose
And then when I tickled her tummy
She broke 22 of my bones.

My baby is friendly and eager
And her nails are kept clean and sharp
So that as she gallops towards me
She can cut all the way to my heart.